A Multi-Emotioned Post

So this is a quote I had to focus on quite deeply these past few days, and as things quickly fall apart in certain areas I just long for things to be repaired and renewed in others.

I have several alternative motives for writing this post. One- to help myself cope; Two- to explain to others; Three- to cherish the good; Four-to reflect.

So I was so devastatedly disappointed that I will not be able to carry on with KDW Productions. This hit rock bottom when I had to face this reality. And of course, tears were present at the thought of not being able to re-experience one of the best days of my life. For a couple of reasons, it just wasn't going to happen this year. And although I will not agree or understand decisions/outcomes somehow I have to learn to respect them. Prayer is ever happening about this matter, I am so glad He listens. I'm not truly "over it" but time is the only thing that will lessen this sadness. Its similar to breaking up with a guy, losing a job, or getting in a car wreck... TIME is the magical healer, along with His help. So this was my CLOSED DOOR this week. I hate to officially admit this, but some things just can't go my way.

Somehow God knew not to keep me waiting for my OPENED WINDOW! For He has been listening to each dear cry.

All of you know, that I am a dancer! If you don't, well... then you don't know me. And you know I have dreams and aspirations in the dance world that I fearfully thought I may not be able to achieve.

Things I still am surprised that I have achieved the following:

1.) I was allowed to begin Pointe Work in 8th grade only a year after starting ballet.
2.) I was accepted into CDC's Performance Company, after less than a year and of half.
3.) I was told that I could take the Pre-Adv. Class one day a week with the girls I so deeply admire. (I asked to do this though)
4.) I was allowed to perform in a trio in this year's Christmas production and again in our upcoming Spring show.
5.)I have been reminded by one of my teachers that I am good and I have a dancingly beautiful future.
6.)And I have met several (hopefully life-long) friends from dance.

And now I have these goals for the future:

1.) To be able to really dance on Pointe, not just wear the boots.
2.) To be CONFIDENT in myself and my dancing ability
3.) To be reinspired to do good and try harder every class
4.) To make my teachers proud
5.) And to be a character in one of the end-of-year Storybook Recitals

And on Tuesday I was able to move one of my goals to the achievements list

#5

Yes, Kelsey is going to be a dwarf in CDC's production of Snow White!

I am so excited that no one can understand my pleasure (except Sydney, who was awarded with a character this year too, with the same years of training as me). This means more than any other achievement YET!! I am enthuised to begin rehearsing and to be an actress/dancer in this years' recital. Yahhhh!

And now I need to give a quick shout-out to Taylor Hnatek for believing that anything was possible. She always told me I could do it, and tries to thrust the confidence upon me that I am unfortuneatly lacking. I don't know what I would do without her. I definitely wouldn't be the dancer I am today unless she had helped me through my dance life.

THANK YOU TAYLOR! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!

God is so ever present in each day of my life... from breaking my heart to exploding it with joy- all in a single day! He is awesome, all powerful, miraculous, and tender! Thank you Lord for showing me that even rotten news can be some-what masked by tremendously excited news.

I now want to apologize to people I have been nasty to in the midst of my frustration. You know who you are!

Emotional post for me today! I want to cry and scream for joy at the same time... its a really weird feeling that I wish upon no one.

I just keep reminding myself...

When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window!