Thankfully, I already have a Groom. A Groom who will be more
than thrilled to see me come his way. A Groom who has been busy my entire life
helping me become the best Kelsey I can be. A Groom who did not vanish after my
many rebellions. A Groom who knows the inside of my heart and loves me the
same.
Jesus.
Devotion after devotion tries to engrain in my brain that Jesus
must be the center of my life. I hear this but don’t exactly know how to
change. But I do know that only he will fulfill all my desires, not a boyfriend
or spouse.
Jesus, after all, does spend a lot of time on me. Hours turn
into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months all to prepare me for that
very special day. The day when I will be perfect (but not because I’m wearing a
white gown with professionally done makeup and hair) but because I will have
been washed clean of all my sin. Surely, it will be even more wonderful than a
wedding. Yet, I don’t think about my heavenly homecoming near as often.
Knowing that I have a guaranteed Groom who will love me no
matter what has become music to my ears. One of the devotions I was reading
talked about how when each of us enter heaven all the angels will look to Jesus
to see the smile on his face (just like if you want to see joy, look at the
groom’s face when the bride walks down the aisle). This image readjusted my thinking
about the day I get to go home. It is so easy to get entangled in the ways of
this world. Instead, I want to be preparing every day of my life for the most
important day of my eternity. I want to be growing closer to Him, finding
people who advance my walk, inspiring others to live for Him, possessing all
the fruits of the spirit, etc. These are the preparations that will make my
homecoming day all the more special. No event, as wedding planning proves, will
be incredible and memorable without some prep work.
Of course, I still want my earthly groom. And my wedding. But
thinking about things from a different perspective helps me prioritize my
desires.
In this same devotional, the author poses some questions.
They opened my eyes to how ill-equipped I am for any sort of relationship.
There is much work that must be done.
Do I find it difficult to overlook the shortcomings of
others?
I hate
to say this, but yes. It’s a problem I’m well aware of and need to mend.
Do I have a hard time accepting blame?
Again,
yes. I’m a stubborn girl who will argue my stance until they surrender and say “You’re
right.” This is far from Godly behavior.
Am I able to live peacefully with those around me?
I’d
like to say yes. And for the most part, I believe that is an honest answer. My
parents and I get along really well. Camille and I have the stereotypical
sister relationship. My friends act as though they enjoy me. Yet, “peace”fully
is a difficult adverb. I’m opinionated. I’m impatient. I’m sassy. All things
that do not yield true peace.
This reality check is somewhat painful. Brutally honest,
too. My vices exist and they will always get in the way of my relationship with
my Groom. And they could also get in the way of my relationship with my future groom.
May my realization be the motivation I need to begin a transformation.
I do not hesitate when I say that my God is good. I know
this. From experience, from testimonies, from the Bible. I know His plan for
each of us is perfect and better than we can imagine. The lenses we look
through are fogged with Earth’s misconceptions and only God can see the clear
image. I must trust Him with all things.
Senior year.
College decision.
Financial aid.
Boys.
You name it.
Just felt like I needed a sentimental post today. For
myself, as always. I can only pray that when I blog of such things, it provides
a concrete accountability to change for the better.
For those who read my blabber, God bless! You are too sweet.
~K
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