This year has been nothing short of amazing. I still can’t believe I have finished my first year of college, and to be honest, it’s bittersweet. This year was just too perfect, too simple, too fun to ever want it to end. But I realize that life goes on, whether in the midst of great times or rough times, and I am ready to embrace the coming months with just as much enthusiasm.
I always do an end-of-school year reflection on my blog and
don’t feel like that should change now that I am in college. I’m terribly
overdue on blogging so many great things, and those will just have to wait. I’ll
sprinkle some stuff in this post, but a few events deserve their own post. I’ve
been too busy going, going, going that there hasn’t been time to sit down and write
about the fun. But I will, promise!
They say college is a time where you discover yourself and
learn who you are. Where you find your little place in this very big world.
Where you make memories (and friends) of a lifetime. I could not agree more! So
with that said, here is what I’ve learned this year (not including how to synthesize
organic compounds or calculate a confidence interval or identify the
gastrocnemius muscle)…
1. Though time may pass and you think a part
of your life has set sail, the world is just one big (yet perhaps little) ocean
that often brings you right back where you started. And that’s not a bad
thing.
The whole time leading up to this year, I thought I was paddling far out at sea, putting everything I had into those high school courses and striving for what I labeled as success. Yet silly me only saw the appealing horizon so I kept paddling. I took the APs, I studied too long, I invested what I thought was my all. But not until I ended up right back where I started, the good ‘ole town of Raleigh, did I realize that regardless of my pursuits, God controls the winds. I was packing up to move to the one place I swore I would not go for college. Yet somehow, I have truly fallen in love with the world that is NC State and could not imagine living life at any other university, in any other town. True, these feelings are a result of some tunnel vision. I know anywhere can bring happiness if you let it, but that’s exactly it! God opened my heart for me to love exactly where I am. Right now!
2. A relationship on pause is not a
relationship lost.
What happened with Hannah should be a reminder for all the relationships in my life. Not only do I feel like I’ve met a lot of great people, I feel like I’ve left a lot of great people throughout the years every time I moved or changed schools. Though these may not be active friendships right now, you never know when life will align for that friendship to catch fire again.
Same holds true with my high school friends. We all ran off to different colleges and besides my infrequent phone calls to Meghan, and few Miss You texts here or there, I didn’t really see much of my high school friends throughout the year. We were all busy making new friends wherever we ended up. Going into college, I didn’t really think I would keep in touch with my old friends, but now that exams have ended, people have been texting me asking when I’ll be back in Charlotte so we can catch up on a year apart. Just like with Hannah, time apart is simply that. Time apart does not mean the friendship is any less meaningful. Plus, nowadays, a year goes by so fast that once we are together, it feels like nothing has changed.
3. Friendship isn’t about just having a
companion at the lunch table. It’s a living, breathing, vital part of
developing who we are and what we believe in this crazy, messed up world.
Even though I’ve always had great friends and amazing girls to walk through life with, I’m not sure I knew what true, undying friendship was until this year. The type of friend that you truly can tell anything to and they listen and respond with Godly advice. The type of friend who will make you laugh when you’re stressed. The type of friend who will procrastinate with you because talking about our values, our struggles, and our pasts is more important. The type of friend that you can ask to help you carry junk to your car, or bring you a textbook you forgot, or eat food (LOTS OF FOOD) to celebrate the smallest of occasions. The type of friend who can turn my tears into smiles. The type of friend who loves me on my good days, my not-so-good days, and even on my terribly cranky days. The type of friend who encourages me to remember WHOSE I am, never tempting me to go astray. The type of friend who reminds me I’m loved, even when doubt tries to get the best of me.
As I’m typing those things, my mind runs immediately to Hannah and Sydney. They have been the perfect best friends for me in every sense of the word. When they flee campus, I feel so lonely. It was a very rare day if I did not see them at some point. The spontaneous late night talk sessions were always my favorite, and my best college memories include them by my side.
But there have also been other girls that have made such an impact in my first year. My big Morgan, Sydney B. (my first sorority friend), and Molly (my go-to-gal whenever I need anything) all keep my lunch date calendar booked and my heart full. But naming only a few doesn’t even begin to encompass how many amazing girls I’ve met this year. Each sister of Sigma Alpha Omega has truly become family. I love these girls. It took me a few months to fall in love with the idea of a sorority, but now I wonder how I didn’t see the goodness that comes from it. When my car broke down on the road, it was a sorority sister that saved the day! Thanks Brittany Brown! Next year, I get to live with Mariah and Kellie! And just this past week, I was eager to put off studying and wanting to go to the movies. All it took was posting on facebook, and that night, four of us went to see The Other Woman and had a great time! It really is the little, spontaneous things like this that I will miss this summer.
4. All giving is receiving.
I’ve done more service than I ever did in high school and there’s always emails seeking help or donations. It’s difficult not to be able to donate to each and every one, but I do what I can. Out of the blue, the Executive Board of my sorority appointed me to be the service committee chair. This was right at the time I started volunteering at the pregnancy clinic which gave me a few connections. We’ve done a few random service events here or there, and then the bigger events such as Service Raleigh and Relay for Life. I cannot say I was a perfect committee chair, but the sisters still thought to award me the Mother Teresa superlative at retreat. I felt honored, yet also a little guilty. Because in truth, I’ve gained so much from serving this semester, which makes every bit of it feel selfish. I genuinely enjoyed chopping down trees at Service Raleigh, writing letters to the Women’s Shelter, and creating a Relay for Life carnival booth. It was fun, and therefore, doesn’t really feel like service, especially when you are doing it alongside your favorite people.
As for the pregnancy clinic, I could talk for days. I have taken in so much by just going in once a week. The women’s stories have flooded my heart with passion for change. I am now brave enough to have a pro-life conversation, knowing why I believe what I believe. My desire to become an OB-GYN has multiplied significantly, and I know why I am working hard in all my classes: women are in need. Anything, even if the tiniest thing, I can do to save a baby, you can bet I will work hard to do. I’ve gained so much from the experiences at the clinic that, once again, it doesn’t feel like service. God truly has provided the most perfect opportunities this year. I feel like He is walking right ahead of me on this path toward med school with a broom in hand, sweeping away the obstacles and laying down the stones. He is spoiling me, for sure!
5. You can be the one you always hear the
stories about.
Once you’re in college you hear all the different things that everyone else is doing and it’s hard to not compare yourself. Travels to Italy or a semester spent in Spain can really make a girl feel jealous. But this summer, I won’t just be hearing about others’ travels, since as you know, Kelsey is going to Peru!!!! I get so excited thinking about the weeks ahead, living with a host family, working at the hospitals, taking health workshops, dining at local Peruvian restaurants and bakeries (I hear they have AMAZING bakeries!), traveling to famous landmarks, and watching the west coast sunrise! I cannot wait to blog about my new home for those few weeks. It’s going to be incredible, I’m sure of it!
6. Each daughter truly is a Mother’s Mini-Me
Now that I’m off on my own, away from my parents, I’ve started to realize all the little things about me that are direct results of my parents. It’s interesting to talk to friends and compare the different family dynamics. Each set of parents chose to raise their children in a certain way that is truly reflected when they get to college. Even if it’s just the little things like how you cook green beans, I see my family in me every day. I've also realized how blessed I am to have the relationship with my parents that I do. I can tell them anything and everything!
Sigma Alpha Omega had their annual Mother Daughter event and it was so cute to see all the college girls with their moms. The moms who looked 20, the moms whose daughters looked exactly like them, the moms who acted just like their daughters do. Even my mom and I couldn’t help but reveal how similar we are. As the girl with the camera, I was recruited to take the group photo. Mom willingly stepped in to help arrange 50+ people for the photo after my futile attempt. In that moment, as we were both trying to get sisters and moms to stand a certain place, it hit me! I’m just like my mom! Then later, I didn’t want to take a picture until I had put some lip gloss on. And why do I do that? Because Mom always does.
7. Sometimes you just need to get away and
hold a sleeping baby or dance around with a two year old (or 9 two year olds, for that matter).
I quickly learned that college life is expensive. Even the seemingly inexpensive Cookout runs can add up if you go enough. Or just a random Tuesday trip to the mall is much more fun if you have a little money in your account. So despite Mom and Dad’s “no need for a job freshman year,” I began working at the Hope Community Church daycare. For the first several months, Camille worked there too and I loved, loved, loved seeing her. That was my favorite part! For my sis, it’s "out of sight, out of mind." Just briefly seeing her once or twice a week made us closer, and she’d actually call me or plan stuff to do together. Now that she has a new job, things have gone back to before when we don’t see each other nor do I hear from her. Makes me sad!
Anyway, I digressed. I have really enjoyed working at the daycare. There were days (even several days) where I dreaded going in. But recently, I have loved it. In the middle of coursework, it’s quite refreshing to go hold a baby or watch two-year-olds play on the playground. It’s a good break from the hustle and bustle of academics.
8. Procrastination always fails…Umm, or rather
procrastination should always fail.
Maybe this is something I should not admit to learning, because it’s not necessarily considered a quality trait. All college students know this all too well: procrastination. Second semester was a lighter workload and I felt really lazy a lot of days because there just weren’t that many pressing assignments. Ironically, the lack of work really stressed me out, always feeling like I ‘should’ be doing something, but wasn’t. And when the workload is light, it’s harder to do even the few assignments you do have. My usual, plan ahead self learned to procrastinate. I needed that immediate pressure to be able to hanker down and write the paper or study for the test. And because of that, there were surely grades where I deserved much lower than I received. But it’s not that I have been sitting on my bed watching tv. I’ve just been busy volunteering, working, going to sorority events, and hanging out with friends. Good things too, right?
I’ve convinced myself that my academic success despite my procrastination is God’s way of saying it’s okay to put the books aside for a moment and be relational. As I’ve mentioned before, the friendships I’ve made this year are superior to any other. He certainly has helped me adjust and balance the many different aspects of college life.
9. More people than you can ever imagine love
you.
Coming back to my hometown really proved how many supportive and loving people I have when I’m in need. I mean, I think there are at least five different houses that I could go to who have said I should bring laundry. Nana’s house has been my frequent go-to. I quickly learned that dorm laundry quality is pitiful, and took my clothes to Nana’s whenever I could. Spoiled? Yes! Thankful? YES!!!
I love being near the Shermans and Aunt Debbie, too. I’ve been able to go to the wonderful town of Fuquay Varina these past few weeks to help Aunt Debbie prepare for Krysti’s baby shower. It’s now been almost two weeks since I last saw Aunt Debbie, so I’m having withdrawal. I got used to visiting frequently. I miss our time together.
And then there is Northpark Church. My “small town church” in a big town. I love that place so much!! Walking in and receiving at least five hugs. Staying after for half an hour to talk. Going out to lunch with the Braswells. This is the place I want to be! It’s just another reason I’m sad to be leaving for the summer…
And I could not talk about being loved and supported without mentioning all those who have donated to my Peru trip. I have raised all I need to cover everything except my flight (a little less than $900 left to go). As the donations have come in, my heart has been filled. Knowing that I have many people willing to support me on this journey means more than they will ever know. If you are one of them, THANK YOU!
10. Food nourishes and should be seen for such
purpose. There is beauty in a simple diet, with the occasional complete and
utter splurge thrown in.
Freshman 15? Umm, not quite, but I did gain weight. The food here and the constant temptation to indulge is just too great. Having more social activities also means eating more food. It took a little weight gain and jeans that wouldn’t fit to shake me back to reality. I’ve dieted before, so I knew I could do it again, but this time I went all in and started the Paleo diet. No dairy, wheat, or soy for 30 days, along with daily workout videos. I’m proud to say I stuck to it! I know I cheated occasionally, unknowingly eating something that contained wheat or soy, but in my conscious effort, I did not cheat. And if I missed a workout day, I would push back my 30 day plan (so all in all, it took about 34 days). It wasn’t fun. I was always sore. And the cold January blues really didn’t help. But the weight was coming off.
Paleo has ended, but I have tried to stick to a weekday Paleo mindset, enjoying grains and dairy on the weekends. I’m still really struggling with sweet cravings (and the never ceasing temptation to bake) but I’ve taught myself to love and enjoy healthy foods. It’s been neat to try new recipes and healthy alternatives, such as Aunt Debbie’s brussel sprouts (Yum!). I realize that this is not a diet, since it will never end. Each day from here on out, I will have the decision to be healthy. I pray I make the right choice enough days so that the days I go “all out” don’t show up on the scale. Because trust me, there will definitely still be the days where I swipe my debit card at Bojangles or bake a big batch of toffee cookies. Or Piebirds on my birthday!
I did read Made to Crave which gave Christian motivation for dieting. Her points were all valid, but there was one part I’ve just made my own opinion on. I know we aren’t supposed to use food as a reward and God should be our source of pleasure, but food really does improve mood. So if only dogs should use food as a reward, then just call me canine! Something sweet after a long day works magic!
11. Dorm room twin beds in front of huge
windows provide princess slumber.
No lie. I love my dorm bed and already miss it. The huge window that brings the bright morning sun onto my face each morning will truly be missed. I sleep better there than I do at home now. And sleep in college better be good while you can get it, because some nights 3 hours of sleep has to feel like 8.
12. Boys are complicated.
They may be cute, but they don’t know what they’re doing. I mean, none of us do. We are all college kids trying to “discover ourselves,” as they say. I’ve learned a lot this year through the guys I’ve met and through the experiences of other girls. Now more than ever, I realize I’m not ready for a boyfriend and love running solo. I’m thankful God has answered my long time prayer for contentment.
I really can’t even complain about anything this year. Of
course, there is the catty stuff, but none of that will be remembered. What I
know is that this year has been perfectly filled with the right opportunities
and the right people. Cheers to a fabulous freshman year! And to a great summer filled with sunshine and warmth!
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